If you are ready to stop self sabotage, this episode is a wake up call. Not because you are doing something wrong, but because so many women are holding themselves back without realizing it.

This comes up constantly. Not because women lack ambition or drive, but because fear has become so familiar it starts to feel responsible. Strategic. Even productive.

In this conversation, I talk about the subtle ways self sabotage shows up in real life. The patterns that look like waiting, perfecting, or getting ready. And the moment I realized I had been shrinking without noticing.

This is about choosing yourself. Using your voice. And stepping into the version of you who is done hiding and ready to lead.

5. Stop Playing Small—And Own Your Vision

Stop Self Sabotage and Claim the Next Level Version of You

So many women are playing smaller than they realize.

Not because they are unmotivated, but because shrinking has felt safer for a long time. What looks like being careful or strategic is often fear in a very convincing disguise.

In this episode, I share the moment I finally saw my own pattern clearly. I kept telling myself I was waiting for clarity, timing, or a sign. But the truth was simpler and harder to admit.

As I shared, playing small does not always look like fear. It often looks responsible, productive, and well thought out.

This blog is an invitation to notice those patterns in yourself with honesty, not judgment. Because once you see them clearly, you get to choose something different.

Stop Playing Small and Own Your Vision

What Self Sabotage Actually Looks Like in Everyday Life

For a long time, I thought I was being intentional.

I told myself I was getting ready. Gaining clarity. Waiting for the right moment. Then one day, I looked at my website and realized it had been ninety five percent finished for over a year.

It was not that I did not believe in my work. I did. I was afraid of being fully seen.

As I shared in the episode, I was afraid of being too much, of getting it wrong, of taking up space before I had everything figured out.

This is how self sabotage usually works. It does not announce itself. It blends in. It sounds reasonable. It makes fear feel responsible.

Here are a few ways it often shows up quietly:

Downplaying your ideas when someone asks what you are working on
Telling yourself you need more clarity instead of taking action
Reworking an offer instead of sharing it
Waiting for life to slow down before you begin
Minimizing your vision so it feels easier for others to accept

As I said in the episode, playing small does not always look small. It often looks like staying behind the scenes a little too long.

How Do You Know If You Are Holding Yourself Back?

If you are wondering whether this might be you, these questions tend to bring things into focus.

Where am I spending energy getting ready instead of showing up?
What do I think I need more of that might actually be fear in disguise, like time, clarity, or strategy?
Where am I waiting to be chosen, validated, or discovered instead of choosing myself?

When I answered these honestly, I realized something uncomfortable. I was more committed to staying safe than being seen.

And the moment I kept waiting for, the clarity or confidence, was never going to arrive first.

Clarity comes through action.
Confidence comes through action.
Permission comes from within.

How Showing Up Can Change Someone Else’s Life

After I finally hit publish on my website, something unexpected happened.

A woman I had not spoken to in seven years reached out. We had met years earlier in Mommy and Me and loosely followed each other online. She read a post I shared about my son’s autoimmune journey with PANDAS and messaged me.

She asked if I could be introduced to a friend whose child was walking through the same diagnosis.

That connection mattered. It meant more than I realized at the time.

It reminded me why I show up. Why I tell the truth. Why I share the parts that feel vulnerable.

As I said in the episode, what if playing small is not just about you, but about the people who need what you have to say?

Your voice is not only for you. Someone is waiting for your story.

Why Self Sabotage Feels Smart Instead of Scary

This is the tricky part. Self sabotage often sounds intelligent.

It sounds organized. Thoughtful. Productive. Which is why so many women confuse self protection with strategy.

Here are a few familiar patterns:

Reworking an offer instead of releasing it
Waiting until everything feels perfect
Staying in research mode instead of moving
Prioritizing everyone else’s needs over your own vision
Sharing the safe version of your dream instead of the honest one

As I shared in the episode, these patterns become so familiar that we stop questioning them. They feel safe and smart, even though they quietly disconnect us from the version of ourselves who is ready to lead.

How to Stop Self Sabotage and Step Into Your Next Level

Once you see your pattern clearly, it becomes a choice. You can keep repeating it, or you can shift. But you cannot unsee it.

Here are practical ways to start shifting now.

Make one brave move a day, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Interrupt the preparation spiral by asking whether this is building momentum or avoiding movement.
Lead with what is true, not what is perfect.
Let people witness your growth. Evolution is powerful to watch.
Choose yourself without waiting for validation.
Move before you feel ready. Confidence grows as you move.

These are not dramatic gestures. They are small, consistent decisions that compound over time.

What Happens When You Stop Playing Small

On the other side of self sabotage is alignment. Momentum. Trust.

It is the version of you who leads clearly, uses her voice, and no longer apologizes for wanting more.

I closed the episode with this reminder, and I want to leave it with you here too.

Your vision is not random.
Your desire is not too much.
And your voice is not optional.

You are not waiting to become her.
You already are.

Questions I Hear Often

Where Your Next Level Begins

If you are done shrinking and ready to step into your next level, I would love to support you. This is the work I do inside my coaching at Emily Collins and inside CEO Besties, where women come to lead with clarity, self trust, and grounded confidence.

You do not need a breakthrough to begin.
You do not need permission.

You simply need to stop choosing smallness.

And that shift can start now.