Losing yourself in motherhood is not always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it is quiet. A slow unraveling you barely notice until one day you realize you do not recognize the woman you have become.

In this episode, I share the real story of what happened when our family uprooted our lives, walked straight into a medical crisis abroad, and I found myself stripped of every identity I thought I needed to hold together. It is a conversation about survival, emotional breakdowns that turn into breakthroughs, and the season that forced me to rebuild my voice, my intuition, and my sense of self from the inside out.

If you have ever felt like you were losing yourself in motherhood, this episode is here to remind you that this does not mean you are broken. Often, it means you are becoming.

4. How Surviving the Hardest Year of My Life Led to Clarity and Growth

How Surviving the Hardest Year of My Life Changed Everything

There are seasons in motherhood that stretch you so far you barely recognize the woman staring back in the mirror.

Sometimes losing yourself feels like a slow unraveling. Other times it feels like an emotional earthquake that shakes everything you thought was stable.

This episode is that story for me.

It was the season where everything I believed I could hold together finally cracked open. As I shared in the episode, sometimes the breakdown is the beginning. You just do not know it yet.

Our family moved to Europe expecting adventure. Instead, we found ourselves navigating a medical crisis with one of our children, a foreign healthcare system, and the emotional weight of carrying it all while I was pregnant. I was in survival mode in every sense.

That season changed everything.

What It Really Feels Like to Lose Yourself in Motherhood

There were days I did not recognize the woman looking back at me.

The mom who once made hot breakfasts, color coded holidays, and hosted baking Wednesdays felt like she had disappeared. As I shared in the episode, that version of me was gone. During that season, my only focus was survival.

You might recognize this too. When life gets heavy, motherhood has a way of magnifying everything. You keep showing up for everyone else while quietly unraveling inside.

I had to learn this. Losing yourself in motherhood does not mean you failed. It often means something in you is asking to be reborn.

The Moment Everything Cracked Open

Just weeks into our move, our child developed sudden and severe symptoms of PANDAS, an autoimmune condition that flipped like a switch overnight.

What was meant to be a three month European adventure became an unexpected year in London filled with medical appointments, fear, exhaustion, and uncertainty.

I remember asking myself how I was supposed to keep going. How we were meant to hold our family together when I could barely breathe.

There was real grief in watching the life I imagined fall apart piece by piece. And yet, something quieter was there too. A knowing that this was not the whole story.

As I said in the episode, this moment in our lives was a chapter, not the entire book.

How Personal Development Became My Lifeline

When everything felt unstable, I reached for whatever could keep me grounded. This was not about a perfect routine or a polished mindset practice. It was survival.

Personal development became my oxygen.

Ten minutes of reading during nap time. A podcast during a stroller walk. Three sentences in a journal before bed. Small moments that helped me stay anchored when everything else felt unsteady.

Writing, in particular, cracked me open in a way I did not expect. I began carving out time every day to write just for myself. It became a release. A way to untangle the chaos. A way to breathe again.

That small daily practice became the beginning of my blog and eventually this podcast.

What Happens When You Finally Choose Yourself

Hitting publish on my blog was terrifying.

My hands were shaking. My heart was racing. But it was the first decision I had made in a long time that was only for me.

As I shared in the episode, I hit publish not because the fear disappeared, but because the pull to use my voice became louder than the fear of being seen.

Sometimes choosing yourself does not look bold or loud. Sometimes it looks like a whisper. A shaky yes. A decision you can no longer avoid.

That one moment opened the door to everything I am building today.

How Losing Yourself Can Lead You Back Home

The story did not end in the breakdown. It ended in expansion.

That season led to coaching women, building CEO Besties with Natalie, leading masterminds, and surrounding myself with women who are redefining what success gets to feel like. It led to retreats, aligned action, and the courage to dream again.

Looking back now, I can see that losing myself in motherhood was actually the pathway to remembering who I was beneath the pressure, expectations, and noise.

As I shared in the episode, there is power in the pause, strength in the stillness, and clarity on the other side of chaos.

If You Feel Like You Are Losing Yourself Right Now

Slow down long enough to feel what is coming up. You have to feel it to heal it.
Give yourself permission to unravel. Let the pieces fall where they need to.
Choose yourself in small, consistent ways, even if it is ten minutes a day.
Anchor into something grounding, like writing or walking.
Allow your identity to evolve. It is meant to.
Remember that hard seasons are chapters, not your entire story.

Questions I Hear Often

How do I know if I am losing myself in motherhood?

You may feel disconnected from who you are outside of parenting, emotionally heavy, or unsure of who you are beyond the roles you carry. Feeling like you are on autopilot is often a sign you need space to reconnect with yourself.

Can you really rebuild yourself after a hard season?

Yes. Hard seasons often strip away what no longer fits and make room for deeper clarity. Many women discover courage, direction, and purpose only after everything cracks open.

How do I start finding myself again?

Start with one small daily practice that reconnects you to your voice or your body. Writing, walking, therapy, coaching, or creative expression can help you rebuild from the inside out.

Your Breakdown Might Be Your Breakthrough

If you feel like you are losing yourself in motherhood, you are not behind and you are not broken. You may be standing at the edge of your next chapter.

This story is proof that even in the hardest moments, something powerful can be rebuilt within you. And if you want support as you move into what is next, you can connect with me through Emily Collins or inside CEO Besties, where we support women in leading themselves with clarity and alignment.

You are becoming who you were meant to be.
One breath. One choice. One moment at a time.